Because I love to turn mental disorders into prose. Also Games.

Family Game Hell

Okay, a few weeks ago, my aunt bought a copy of Wheel of Fortune (for the Wii, they missed an opportunity for a good pun there), and gave it to me for the family to play. Now, I like sharing games, but this was just plain hell.

The Set-up:
To start, I had to hook up the Wii in the living room, a prospect that’s normally a minor annoyance turned to a fullblown migraine while having to do it with an audience. Of course, there was only two wiimotes, as well (I’d recently sold the third to buy a game), so that split the five players (Me, My brother, my nephew, my dad, my mom) into groups that nobody seemed to think was mathematically correct. We ended up settling my brother, nephew, father on one team, and me and my mother on the other.

The Start-up:
Half of my family wears glasses, me included. My brother NEEDS them, but won’t get them. Haven’t a clue about my nephew’s eyes. So my dad tries to start the game from his chair with the wiimote, spends a solid ten minutes doing so, before giving it up to my brother. He takes only slightly longer than anyone who’d played more than one game on the system would. After wrangling with the Mii selections, which were just plain confusing, for all involved, we start the game with our teams.

The Game:
(No loss intended)
Putting me and my mother on the same team against the others was like putting Tiger Woods and Arnold Palmer on the same team against a group of retired croquet players. Of course, this led to squabbles after we ended up 30K+ higher than them on the scoreboard. The game played exactly like you’d expect a Wheel of Fortune Wii game to. You spin with the wiimote, and pick letters, etc etc. I mean, if it’s what you’re looking for, go no further. But don’t play with idiotic siblings. I can’t tell you how many times my brother warranted death threats from me. And then he goes and makes the “Wah-mbulance” siren.

The Aftermath:
Family hates each other.
God I hate them all.

Seriously, though. Family board games work out fine. But you try to get them to all play a videogame, and it’s like you just suggested we take the family vacation to Gitmo. With accurate results after we play.

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