As someone who thrives on a constant intake of new media, I’m a voracious reader, an eagle-eyed watcher, a hardcore player, and a highbrow looker. If I had to name an addiction for myself, it would be information. Information is my heroin, and the internet is my spoon, lighter, and needle.
So I have to come to terms with this whenever I’m in a shop that holds such wonders to my mind. I like to skulk around library shelves, or video game stores. I will peruse and check, and look, and “Hmm….” at all the options I have in front of me. It’s sometimes enough to make me feel ill. Strange, huh?
But every time. I’m forced to come to terms with a few, simple facts:
- There is not enough time.
- I don’t have enough money
- My attention cannot be limited to one medium
When all of these things click in my head is usually when I start to make anxious glances between options, narrowing down my choices until I seem to have the best value for my money. I can feel ill during these moments even more so. A twisting knot in my stomach as reality pushes in on all sides.
It’s a sad thing to admit, but I would much rather have more fiction to suck down like Kool-aid than more friends. Not that I would completely get rid of my friends. Everyone needs a break from time to time. But sometimes they’re just in the way.
For me, the best friend is someone who shares my addiction. We’ll go to the same pusherman and probably walk away with the same product. I know at least a handful of friends can attest to this, and you people know who you are. But ultimately, the ones who stay my friends are the one who share it, but can also drag me away from the addiction. Very few people on my list fulfill that requirement. Usually they try to turn me from consuming to producing. Since my brain is one giant feedback loop of fiction, I’m rarely short for ideas on what to produce.
I’m still hooked, despite everything, and I doubt anything short of a massive shock to the system, or death (Which could fall under the first category) will ever stop me. It’s this reason that I’m writing this at 3 AM central US time, it’s this reason that the blog exists, it’s this reason I’ve made friends with who I have, and probably this reason will be my ultimate downfall.
Only time will tell.