Because I love to turn mental disorders into prose. Also Games.

Westward, ho!

This ride is so terribly, terribly long. I decide to step off the the path to have some fun when some troll comes up and decides to troll me. I bring out my scythe and backSLASH him until he gives up and dies, then I take his tasty, tasty fat. Mmmm.

I come across a burnt husk of a town called hackdirt. I poke around and nearly left before coming across a hatch in a building. Oh boy! Caves! Time to go-a spulunking!

I get in, and I discover A LADLE! *Da da da Daaaaah!* I wish I could use it as a weapon, but alas, it will have to stay with my adventuring cookware. I start to creep a little further and I hear “*Sniffsniiffsniff* hmm?” over and over. This is thoroughly creeping me out. Jericho can handle daedra, atronarchs, and all kinds of evil magics, but some guy sniffing out where he is? That gives him the heebie jeebies.

Eventually a shirtless, hackdirt brethren crosses my path and starts beating me with a club. And then another comes by. I hack and punch and beat them to death and decide to take their clubs as a new form of weaponry. I quickly discover that a club, in ye olde englishe, Sucketh the salty salami.

I keep it anyways, I figure I can build some blunt while I’m out. And not the kind that the sailors in the southern parts of Cyrodiil are smoking.

Considering what’s been happening in this cave, from what I can tell, these guys are on something WAAAY worse. They’ve started, y’know, eating people. I think.

I also find a prison, and several trapdoors to people’s houses. I decide to stay in the cave until I find a door that isn’t red when I touch it. Red usually means stay out, and killing someone while inside a red door generally means you’re murdering more than self-defending.

Eventually, I find a tan door to an inn, which I’m strangely allowed to pick. I pop up, no innkeeper. So I peek around. There’s the owner’s door (His name is Moslin of Moslin’s inn) and I look at the guest room, which is also tan. I open it and decide to hunt down a bed, because it’s about time to sleep and level up*Cough hack cough* I mean meditate on my skills. I can’t use the beds, so I go downstairs, sit on a bench, and wait. I’m sure he’s confused when he sees me in the morning, but you don’t interrupt somebody when they’re sitting down, doing nothing. Dammit, it’s important while they’re waiting.

Bed, sleep, yadda yadda yadda.
I wake up, genuinely having expected someone to come in and rudely attack my character before he’s had his coffee, but no. Instead I find Moslin standing guard over my door. Creeeeepy. I I scootch alongside him and walk down and back into the trapdoor that leads to the caverns. I figure a little more exploration couldn’t hurt.

I wander the caves and come out in a basement to a dry goods store with an owner who CLEARLY hates me. I walk around and through a door and then she walks THROUGH the door. This town is either starting to creep me out or slip acid in my potions.

This guy’s been two steps behind me the whole time.

I pop out of the store and wander around. Everyone I meet glares at me and won’t say anything. I wander into the chapel of the town (Chapel of the Brethren) and find a book (Bible of the Deep Ones, sounds either like a reference to HP Lovecraft or something dirty.)

I’m also being followed by people wherever I go. This town’s either going to kill me or I’m going to kill it. I go up the ladder and AGH THERE HE IS AGAIN!

I seriously consider using a poison of paralysis on this fellow from atop this high point, then decide that I should just…get down.

I’m pretty sure, at this point, that I’ve stumbled into something akin to Jonestown or Sandford in that THESE PEOPLE ARE BATSHIT INSANE ON THE INSIDE while appearing perfectly normal on the outside. I start to creep away to find my horse and run away screaming to the west. Every time I turn around THIS GUY IS THERE!

I start to vent my frustrations on a small rat, being the only unfortunate bystander in this backwards place I can kill.
I swing with my scythe and miss. Ratty runs behind me. I charge up a power swing while I turn and *SLICE!*


Wait…

…Oops.

Oh this is bad. Very bad!

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5 responses

  1. Lucien Lachance

    Yo Jericho,
    I’ll be seeing you soon.

    September 5, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    • Why is everyone following me?!

      September 7, 2010 at 1:06 pm

      • That was me, sorry.
        Doing some in-character commenting, assuming you noticed the name =P
        I’ll shut up :D

        September 7, 2010 at 1:57 pm

      • Lol, I figured. Just figured I’d post Jer’s reply to that.

        September 10, 2010 at 12:21 pm

      • Doh. My fail =P

        September 10, 2010 at 2:21 pm

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