Because I love to turn mental disorders into prose. Also Games.

Here’s a top ten list!

It’s a list of the top tens games I really want to replay, but can never seem to.
Please note that this is going to be mostly retro, with a few less retro, but still kinda old.

10. Star Fox 64

This game is, in my opinion, one of the best space-combat-oriented games out there. It’s got enough action to melt your face off, and a decent amount of strategy and reflexes. (Mostly the strategy is used getting around those enemies who stick behind you like glue, but still). I even don’t really mind my annoying teammates in it, either!
Why I can’t play it: I lost my cartridge years ago, and most N64 emulators suck balls.

9. Goldeneye 64

Another one that really shouldn’t need explaining. It had a strong singleplayer campaign, and an even stronger multiplayer. Who doesn’t remember making the mad dash for the golden gun in Aztec, or trying to find the sniper rifle before your friend did? Who could forget DK mode and Paintball cheats? What about Oddjob? Wasn’t he nuts? Ahh, Good times.
Why I can’t play it: Nobody ever seems to have to time for a little Deathmatch on the N64. Plus I can’t find the second controller.

8. Sonic The Hedgehog 1 (And 2 and 3)

Another (Series of) game(s) that need(s) no introduction(s), it’s(they’re) a strong, high-speed platformer that really did the whole gameplay part right. Personally, I enjoy 2 the most, but I really abuse that whole level-select Debug cheat every time I get my hands on the game. It’s still tons of fun to do, especially when you cheat and unlock super-sonic early. Ahh, good times.
Why I’m not playing it: Where’s my genesis again? No, seriously. Where is it? Did I lend it to my cousin?

7. Mega Man X

Of course the purists are always going to shake their copies of MMII and moan about how this bastard child to the series is flawed, but I don’t give a damn. This game is good. Really good. It takes the series from classic and ramps it up to hardcore and overkill. Giant killer-bee robots? Check. A kickass partner with a sword? Cheeeck. Timeless theme of sacrifice for the greater good? You better believe it. And of course, anybody who’s ever played this would HOPEFULLY remember how to unlock Ryu’s Hadoken from the Street Fighter series. (In case you don’t know, get all upgrades, sub tanks and boss weapons, go to Armored Armadillo’s stage, run through it keeping ALL your meters full, get to the end, jump onto the wall where the boss door is and get into the alcove at the very top and then EXIT THE LEVEL, do it a few more times and then poof, there’s a capsule there!) Oh god, I loved that game.
Why I can’t play it: I don’t have the time for a game that’s old-school hard!

6. Metal Gear Solid

As the series goes, I think Solid 2 is best (Mind you, I haven’t played 4), but sometimes you just can’t beat the classics. Nobody could forget Otacon’s “Love on the Battlefield” speech, and how it plays out (Tragically) with the woman he’s talking about. Snake’s revelation of his own mortality at the end provides a melancholy note before a hopeful ending, and (Depending on the path you chose) his own love story turned tragic. And the plot twists. Oh, the plot twists. But the thing I remember most about this game is THE MUSIC! Oh good GOD the music. The battle theme sends my adrenaline pumping (Don’t just stand there, SHOOT!) and I’ll never forget the chanting end theme (It’s called “The best is yet to come”), and it even plays a part of the game (With psycho mantis- “You like to play castlevania, don’t you?”). Personally, I’ve tried to find a copy of the remake for gamecube, but none of the stores around here have it. Still I have my old PS1 discs (But no playstation system!)
Why I can’t play it: You’re seriously asking me why I don’t have the time to play a Kojima game? I mean, it’s a GREAT GAME, but still, I don’t have the TIME for it.

5. Super Mario 64

Ah, the good old days. Came with our 64, and I played it and played it. I was the only one who played it quite so much and, by god, I had all 120 stars! And I was only 8! Sure, I had played the SNES, but that was when I really didn’t understand what was going on too well, and only did what my brother told me to. (He apparently had a much better grasp of how to play Joe & Mac, being only two years older than me.) And I loved the weekly game rental for our consoles, but no system made me as much of a gamer as I am today as the N64, and that platforming adventure classic.
Why I can’t play it: After you get all the stars (Twice, no less), what’s the point in doing it a third time? I’m going to go play other games that are just as good and then I’ll forget about it for a while until something reminds me of it.

4. Yoshi Story

Okay, if Super Mario 64 was the first brick of what made me a gamer, then this one was stacked right with it. I remember getting off school one day because my mom thought I had a fever from furiously playing this game! (Again, Only 8.) And that day, I remember walking into Baby Bowser’s trap and spike-filled castle and kicking the ever living crap out of him to get my Super Happy Tree back (Apparently the Yoshis were running a drug outfit or something. Or maybe that’s what bowser jr was going to do with it. I don’t know, exactly. ) I always kept the black and white yoshis until the very end, and then I would royally stomp over every boss with them. Good times…
Why I can’t play it: It’s a little too cutesy for my tastes, now that I’m much older. That isn’t to say I don’t play a cute-ish game once in a while, but still.

3. Klonoa 2: Lunatea’s Veil

Okay, this game is even cuter than the last, and I know I was much older when I got it, but still. Who could resist him! I was only 11 at the time, and he looked like a big rabbit-thing! Plus, it was an awesome platformer with a story that made me warm and fuzzy at parts and about to cry at others (Again, 11.) This is a game I really, genuinely would replay if I had the chance! Honest! But I just don’t have the opportunity. It was only recently that I gave the disc away to a much younger neighbor kid, who really enjoyed it, I’m told. That made me happy, at least. Making way for another gamer, that’s me.
Why I can’t play it: Besides the fact that I no longer have the disc, I had been lacking a PS2 for a much longer time. But who knows. Maybe when PS2s are REALLY CHEAP, I’ll buy one and a few titles to play on it. I’ll damn well try to get this one!

2. Legend of the Mystical Ninja: Starring Goemon!

Here was a game I loved, with multiple characters, Zelda-esque dungeons, a humorous but genuinely dramatic and emotional game, and it had a bisexual evil overlord trying to take over feudal japan using giant robots and space stations. I’m dead serious. Well, the bisexual part might be a TAAAD embellished, but that’s up to personal interpretation. You play as Goemon, a kid with a pipe (Don’t ask me) and you’re sent on a quest to save Japan (And the world) from someone who wants to literally make All the World a Stage. There are huge levels, crazy bosses, awesome and funny characters, plot twists, singing, dancing, and giant rolling dumplings. There’s even a hookshot…kinda. It’s a chain pipe. But this game is firmly one of the greatest adventure titles ON the n64. Even zelda can’t compare with the scope of how far you go.
Why I can’t play it: Okay, both times I have seen the ending to this game, I was forced to beat it IN ONE SITTING, because I never actually owned a Nintendo 64 memory Pak. I had borrowed one, for a while, from a cousin, but when we returned it, I traded for this game, and BY GOD I LOVED IT! I do not regret sitting still for two separate days to see the ending twice. (They were not in the same year, however)

And the number one game I really ought to replay, but genuinely can’t is….

1. Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (And I’m totally counting Majora’s Mask in this)

Yup. I firmly believe that I need to replay the two Legend of Zelda games for the N64. And can you blame me? They were epic. Ocarina of Time was a damn fine piece of work, and Majora’s mask took the first game’s formula, condensed it, and added a ton of things. Hilariously alternate-dimensional-counterpart logic dictates the actions of a lot of the characters, and tons of Zelda favorites (Or love-to-haters) made their name here, including the postman, tingle, and of course the skull kid. Funnily enough, I always considered Majora to be an expansion of the first, focusing more on character development and cinematics, as opposed to epic battles and dungeons (Those were still there).
Why I don’t play either: Well OoT is just too damn long to play through with the time I have, and Majora’s Mask…well…I never actually owned it. I rented it for three weeks straight (Younger me. Like, 10 at the time) And didn’t even make it to the first dungeon until about day 5. By the time I beat it, I was just glad to be rid of the thing, so this may be nostalgia talking, but I think I’ll find a copy of Master Quest, knock it around, and then get majora’s mask on the virtuchannel thing. That is, assuming, I ever get some points for it. Which I probably won’t.

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