Because I love to turn mental disorders into prose. Also Games.

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.

Dark void.

Contrary to popular belief, the void you end up in isn’t all that dark. It’s more like Peter Jackson’s King Kong with Stargate mixed in, set during The Rocketeer. You even get to shoot a giant thing on top of a tower!

So the game is a solid shooter on the ground, what with it’s cover-based system. Early in, you get a jetpack that let’s you hover around within reasonable limits (IE you go up, but you can’t stay up) and then a VERY neat vertical cover system comes in. You hold onto platforms looking up and shoot baddies who walk around on the edges.

Then, once the shit hits the fan, you get the REAL jetpack. The one that let’s you ACTUALLY fly. And it has a machinegun on it.

So you spend a few missions alternating between shooting guys from cover and shooting guys from the air, and shooting guys IN the air, and shooting guys in the air with their own planes (Which you can steal at any time, via quicktime).

Jacking a hubcap. No really.

Speaking of quicktime, there’s a lot of them. You have one pretty much to finish every nonstandard enemy (Who can mostly be finished off by melee anyways, so even with them). Most of them are piss-easy, consisting of having a basic knowledge of the enemy attacking, or being able to alternate mouse buttons (For the PC that is.). Anyways, I kinda dislike the fact that the BOSS fights are ended with them. Sure, it gives an awesome thing to LOOK at, but I want to do that myself. (You can keep doing it for shorties, though.)

And most of the bosses (Hell, every one that isn’t an actual ship) become more common as you play. Giant lizard things that remind me of a Scarab from Halo 2? You fight one for a boss and then three at once later.

Now all of that actually does turn out to make a decent game. (Ending sucked, though).

I give it 7 Frakking Toasters

I love doing this to them.

Out of ten.

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